Cats
by 28-characters-later
Summary: Marco's cat allergies wake him up and he talks to Darco about maybe needing to give some to a few other trusted people. Marco is a grumpy baby butt when he doesn't get enough sleep. also. fun fact: while it wasn't to my mother and I didn't have my mouth washed out with soap, I DID do that first swearing story. and I thought it would be funny to have it live on by giving it to Marco


Marco woke up struggling to breathe. His nose and eye burned, and both felt terribly itchy. Sitting up, the teen dragged himself to his wheelchair by the side of the bed. In the dark of the room he heard a cat yowl when he accidentally grabbed it while pulling himself out of bed. That explained it. Darco must have let the cats out.

Getting into his chair, Marco wheeled himself over to the window opening it quickly. The first thing he needed was fresh air. After that he could figure out what to do about the cats all over the place.

Marco sighed, resting his head on the window frame. His face was still itchy but at least he was able to breathe better now. He lifted his head again when one of the cats hopped up onto the ledge next to him, looking out at the deserted night streets. Observing the cat with tired annoyance the freckled boy pointed to the floor with a snap. "Down." The cat looked at Marco with a tilted head before suddenly moving closer to lick the scars across his blind eye. Marco wasn't even sure how to react, just staring at the cat while moving back a little, before sneezing. That seemed to startle the cat enough to finally leap back down into the room.

Turning back to the window, Marco took another few deep breathes of fresh air, before heaving a deep frustrated sigh. He wasn't looking forward to herding the cats back into their little room and then cleaning up cat hair for the next hour or so, but he also didn't want to be done sleeping for the night all together due to nonstop allergic reactions either. So he didn't really have much of a choice. He wouldn't have to clean the whole place – that would take the rest of the night – just his bedroom would do for now.

Marco used the moonlight from the open window now that his eye had adjusted to the gloom, and maneuvered himself to the little desk where he found his lantern and matches. Lighting it, he set it carefully on his lap before wheeling out of his bed-room and to the bathroom where he kept his allergy medicine.

Moving the lantern to a safe spot on the counter, the noiret took a pill before splashing his face with cold water to relieve some of the heated itchy skin. He wiped his hands dry on his lime green night shirt.

Once the lantern was carefully back on his lap Marco made his way to the largest part of this little place he was given and hung the lantern up on a hook so it could light the room better. Bringing himself to Darco's side of the house, and after digging around a bit to find the treats they had, Marco started clicking his tongue. He waited until he could count all seven before moving over to the cat room and tossing a handful of treats inside. Marco counted as the seven cats rushed inside before he closed the door and put the treats back in the spot he found them.

Marco sneezed a few times into his sleeve and sighed. Now was the fun part…

He sneezed once again and then got out a broom and some tape, wrapping the tape around the bristles so that the sticky side faced outward. That's when he had an idea. These were Darco's cats, _they_ should have to clean up for the little furry pests. Wheeling to the main desk in the room, Marco opened the notebook the two communicated with and wrote down a note. He was exhausted so while things were still spelt correctly it wasn't written as neatly as usual. Satisfied, Marco gave control over to his split personality.

Darco blinked into consciousness with a yawn. A quick look out a window told the alternate personality that it was still night. What the hell were the two of them doing awake now? Finding the notebook, Darco gave it a quick read.

'I keep telling you, the cats can't be left to wander the house. We can't breathe when there's too much cat hair around. I woke up _unable to breathe_. I got your cats back into the room but you get to use the broom and tape to pick up as much hair from around the bed, then we can go back to sleep.'

Danm he was _grumpy_ when he didn't get enough sleep.

Darco yawned again and looked over at the broom leaning against the desk with the roll of tape near it. They did _not_ want to do any cleaning. Especially cleaning up cat hair. Giving the broom a sneer, then turning back to the notebook, Darco wrote a reply before passing control back over to the body's owner.

Marco looked around. The broom, tape, and he himself were still in the exact same spot. Rubbing his brow above his uncovered damaged eye he looked to the notebook reluctantly. He was too tired and still feeling too sick to deal with Darco being difficult.

' _Fuck you, I'm not doing that. Cleaning cat hair always leaves me feeling itchy and short on breath. You can do that shit.'_

Marco wasted no time in writing a reply and shoving Darco back in the mental driver's seat.

Darco groaned. Marco was going to be a whiny little bitch about it, it seemed. They still read what he had to say though.

'Yes. Exactly. I don't know if you know this but we have cat allergies. Normally minor but around too much … anything… cat, we can't breathe. It's good you know this now. Maybe cleaning up the cat hair will help persuade you to keep them in that room. Which actually isn't even very healthy for the things. I almost feel sorry for them.'

Darco read the note over again. Marco was being snappy and sarcastic, were they finally rubbing off on him and becoming less of a bitch? Then again Darco had never actually talked to Marco after he'd been woken up in the middle of the night before. Maybe he was just grumpy as hell with not enough sleep, and getting a good amount of rest was how he was able to be so cheerful during the day.

Darco frowned at the last part though. They made sure the cats were fed and had water. They made sure the few litterboxes they had in that room were clean. They also took them outside from time to time and obviously let them wander the house sometimes. How was none of that healthy for the cats? Marco being pissy because he didn't get enough sleep was fine, but Darco wasn't going to let him talk shit about their cats. Writing a response, Darco shoved Marco back into control.

Yawning, Marco read over Darco's note.

' _I know we have cat allergies, Smartass. Why do you think I trained Bloodbath to bring me those allergy pills? Or give them baths? Or all the other shit I do to keep them clean, as well as keeping them in that room. Also, fuck you. Don't you fuckin' dare tell me that what I do isn't healthy for my cats! Don't you fuckin' dare! I would never mistreat my cats! I love my cats! I don't care if you're pissy because you woke up, but don't talk shit about my babies!'_

Marco expected a response like that, though it was surprisingly sweet that Darco would say things like they love the cats or call them their babies. However, although yes, he was pissed about being woken up, Marco wasn't making up that statement about the cats. It was hard enough for people to get enough food and so providing the cats with the amount of food they actually needed was very difficult. Some of the cats were a little underweight. Plus, the seven cats only had about three litterboxes to share among them. That meant the boxes became full too fast to keep up with, and a lot of times the cats had to walk on their own excrement. That couldn't be healthy for the little felines at all.

Marco let out a sigh before choosing his next set of words a little more carefully. He mostly just wanted Darco to clean up the cat hair for right now. This particular conversation should wait until Marco was rested and in a better mood after some proper sleep, and Darco was a lot calmer. Once he felt ready he wrote a reply and gave Darco back control.

Darco wasted no time in reading what Marco had to say. They were furious that anyone would dare suggest the cats weren't being well cared for!

'I wasn't making anything up just because I am indeed not in the best of moods. But this is a conversation for another time. Can you please just clean up the cat hair? We can talk about this more tomorrow.'

Darco let out a growl and scratched out a reply quickly before pushing Marco back out.

Well that was fast. Marco yawned and read over the reply.

' _It technically is already tomorrow, just very, very early. Now start fuckin talking or I ain't doin' jack shit other than letting my cats roam the house again.'_

Marco groaned and rubbed his good eye. He was too tired to deal with this right now. If the cat room had a lock he'd just lock the room, hide the key, clean up the cat hair himself, and then go to bed. Since the room didn't have a lock though and Darco would have an even easier time at coming out if Marco went to sleep (and surly would if Marco just never responded) it seemed that he would have to do this now.

Yawning again and resting his head on the desk, the noiret boy tried to think of what to say. And not fall asleep on the desk. That was very difficult. After a moment, Marco moved his right arm under his chin and wrote out a response with his other. This note took a while because Marco didn't want to have this conversation continue at all, but he also didn't want Darco to get so worked up that it would take the rest of the night to calm them down. Once he finished, he stretched and yawned, and then passed control over to Darco.

The body's exhaustion was not lost on Darco. They had to blink a few times before focusing on what Marco had to say to explain himself.

'The cats only have three litterboxes to share among the seven of them. Those fill up fast and that leaves your "babies" forced to walk on their own waste. That's unfair to them and could get them sick. We feed them enough to keep them alive but some of them are underweight, they're not just small and young. Our Allergies make it so they have to mostly stay in that room. But trapped in there with all those smells? It's cruel. Even you have to admit you can see how happy they get when they are allowed out of there. This will anger you I know. And this is why I wanted to talk about this later, during the day. But if you don't blow up about this tonight I'll clean the cat hair. Look, in all honesty and this is not a threat or anything, it would be more humane if we… found some different houses – to watch and take care of some of your cats for you – not even all of them. Just some. And have something set up for you to still see them. Just, think about it. I won't make you do anything right away. Now it's really late. I'm tired. I'm sure you're tired. Please don't fight about this now. Either clean up the cat hair, or say goodnight and let me do it.'

Darco wasn't sure how to respond to this. Maybe they were flat out exhausted, but this reply was giving them mixed feelings. There were things they couldn't deny; the number of litterboxes, the amount of food the cats got, how happy the cats were when out of the room, and how thin some of them were. Darco's favorite and first cat Bloodbath was even on the thin side. They didn't want to lose any of their cats but … but if something happened to any of them, because of Darco… They'd never be able to forgive themself, there was nothing Darco loved more than their cats.

They couldn't leave things like this for now though. Darco wrote down another note asking about the state of their cats and if there was a way to get more litterboxes, as well as if there was a way to fix their living set - up without having to lose any of them. Then Darco pushed Marco back into control.

Marco wanted to go to sleep. The lack of sleep and passing the shared consciousness back and forth was wearing the noiret boy out. Marco wrote down one single sentence and returned consciousness to the other.

The split personality didn't like how fast that had happened. There was no way Marco could have answered all of their questions. When they read what Marco left them, they had to read it a few times. It was honestly shocking to have come from Marco.

'We'll talk about this tomorrow, either clean up the hair or let me, but I want to go back to fucking sleep.'

Marco swore. Holy shit _Marco actually swore_. Darco hadn't been sure if Marco was even capable of swearing.

Ok, Darco clearly wasn't getting any more out of him tonight. They were rather impressed he swore too. The other personality grabbed the broom, tape, and lantern after they took it down from the hook, and wheeled into the bedroom to broom up the cat hair. It took a while but after a few tape changes they were able to throw away several balls of sticky tape covered in cat hair. Darco left the window open. The cats were in their room, and the fresh air blowing through the bedroom would help. Plus it was nice and cool which calmed their reddened, itchy skin. Darco leaned the broom against the wall and set the lantern down on the desk in the room, then blew it out. Thrust back into total blackness, Darco had to be extra careful getting the chair over to the side of the bed but once they did they climbed onto it getting comfortable. They were out within a matter of seconds.

…

By the time the sky started getting lighter, the Scouting Legion was returning from a mission. They'd lost a few, but luckily it hadn't been too many this time. They were all exhausted though, and after dismounting, unsaddling the horses and putting them back in the stables with some fresh hay, Jean made his way to the small house Marco was given. Ever since Marco had been found alive, but badly hurt, Jean had pretty much moved in with him. It was easier to keep an eye on him that way, he couldn't help but being a little over protective of the freckled boy. Since he was alive he wanted to make sure he stayed that way.

Jean unlocked the door heading inside quietly. It was still very early and he didn't want to wake the sleeping boy inside, there would be plenty of time for 'welcome back' greetings later. He took off his boots and straps, leaving them by the door and set his jacket on the back of a chair. As he went to the bedroom to check on Marco and gauge how quietly he could slip into bed next to him without waking him up, he spotted the notes Marco had been writing with Darco just a few hours earlier.

Curious to see what the two were talking about, Jean looked through them and almost immediately became annoyed with Darco once he learned they'd left the cats out. That was incredibly dangerous. Marco had been at risk of inhaling too much of the hair and dander.

Finding out Darco actually loved their cats was a little surprizing. It made them seem more like an actual person. Jean made a mental note to try and actually have a conversation with the split personality.

He was very relieved Marco had finally been able to bring up the topic of giving up some of the cats. He would even help look for people to take some of them in, folks who would treat them properly and let Darco see them from time to time. Anything as long as there were less cats in that one room.

Mid-thought, Jean read Marco swearing. After going back and counting the replies to make sure that yes, he was on Marco's reply, Jean had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. A snort still escaped.

The two-toned haired teen really wished he had been there to witness this exchange. He knew why Marco never swore, back in training he had convinced Marco to explain it. Shortly after the freckled boy had learned how to talk, he had apparently held the middle finger up to his mother and proudly proclaimed that it meant 'fuck you'. The poor child then had his mouth washed out with soap and ever since, Marco had been hell-bent on never swearing again.

Chuckling, Jean set the notes down and headed into the bedroom to find his Marco sleeping peacefully. Quickly taking off his shirt and pants, Jean carefully slipped into bed, hoping to go to sleep as well but the movement on the bed did start to wake Marco. His eye was still closed but he let out a sleepy mumbled noise that wasn't really much of a word.

The poor tired thing. Jean softly snickered before gently kissing him on the forehead. "Shhh it's just me. Go back to sleep babe."

At Jean's hushed whisper, Marco moved an arm to slide it around Jean and nuzzled his face into the other's chest. He soon fell back asleep. Jean wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, holding him close as he too drifted off to sleep.


End file.
